All I can say rieght now is : NICE SHOT, NICE SHOT, MAN :o
Yea, that´ll do. lol
Banging bottle on the table while swaying side to side. "Hey DJ, We want Styx! We want Styx!" (Ok, so *I*´d like to hear some Styx.) :)
Heard this on the radio today.... It is not healthy to have a really clean house.... (I knew that would grab your attention) They have found that some dust in the house is necessary to stimulate the immune system, and helps those suffering from allergies and asthma.... <BR> <BR>Now I´m only talking dust here... The trash still has to be taken out.... lol lol Did you hear about the two bed bugs who fell in love and were married in the spring... <BR> <BR>BTW If birds that fly over the sea are seagulls, then birds that fly over the bay are baygulls???? <BR> <BR>Bartender!!! I said beer, I can´t handle sangria.... lol /me asks the DJ to play Canadian Sunset - Hugo Winterhaulter
/me ROTFL LOL that´s a good one /Elwin:
ROTFLMAO.. good one /elwin:
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It´s been flickering for weeks now." <BR> <BR>He looks at her and says angrily; "fix the light, now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on My forehead? I don´t think so." <BR> <BR>The wife asks, "Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won´t close right." <BR> <BR>To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don´t think so." <BR> <BR>“Fine," she says "then you could at least fix the steps to The front door? They´re about to break." <BR> <BR>"I´m not a damn carpenter and I don´t want to fix steps." He says, "does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I don´t think so. <BR>I´ve had enough of you. I´m going to the bar!!!" <BR> <BR>So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out. <BR> <BR>As he walks into the house he notices the steps are already fixed. <BR> <BR>As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. <BR> <BR>As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed. <BR> <BR>"Honey," he asks, "how´d all this get fixed?" <BR> <BR>She said, "well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake him a cake." <BR> <BR>He said, "So what kind of cake did you bake him?" <BR> <BR>She replied, “Hellooooo.......do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead? <BR>I don´t think so! “ <BR> <BR>
girldfriend? bah! ;) <BR> <BR>I swear I am not drinking ;)
Funniest ad I ever saw on TV here went like this: <BR> <BR>A guy sitting in a chair inside a changing room drinking his flavoured milk (which the ad is for) as his girldfriend is trying on a dress in front of him. She keeps turning around checking herself in the mirror and says something along the lines of "Does this dress make my backside look big?" <BR> <BR>His response went something like: "Yeah - but at least it takes the attention off your face" :) <BR> <BR>Even my wife laughed at that one :)
OK, guys I think this one will prove without a doubt that these were written by women... :) Here is the second one that is being aired all over the Chicago area... <BR> <BR>This one selling Cellular Telephones... and starts out with a very attractive couple in a restaurant... (is there something familiar) Now he is looking to buy a new cell phone and is looking to see what others are using... So naturally the first person he notices using a phone, he is looking really hard to see just what kind is it. Not noticing that SHE is a very attractive woman in a mini skirt, sitting with her legs crossed.. Now this guys date looks to see what has caught his interest.... Guess What!!! The gal in the mini just put the phone away and is looking at the guy, who has a shit eating grin 😁 on his face a mile wide... lol Well needless to say but his date gets very somber faced. <BR> <BR>Now this goes on with two other really attractive women using cell phones, with the same results as far as his date is concerned. I would describe these other two women, but I´m afraid it would cause a pause in my life. Soooo I´ll just say they were REALLY attractive.... lol <BR> <BR>By this time, the guys date is so pissed, she gets up from the table and very deliberately picks up a full glass of water, takes two steps and slowly POURS the water in this poor shhhhmucks lap.... Then takes the time to place the empty glass back on the table before she struts out of the restaurant.... lol <BR> <BR>Now you all have to admit, ONLY a woman would think of an action like that!!!! <BR> <BR>/me goes to the jukebox and plays an Eddie Arnold tune - Make the world go away .. and get it off my shoulders .. say the things you used to say .. and make the world go away.... lol lol
Well I guess I did OK on that one. At least I wasn´t called a male chauvinist :) I better switch to apple juice... if someone throws something at me I want to be able to duck in time. lol
Back in the USSR - the Beatles
DB Boulevard - Point of view
GIve mE aa neww beeEer. buuUURP
ok-ok... sheesh... <BR>Maggie Reilly - Everytime we touch
:snow keeps kicking to Safri Duo - Played A Live
More kicking: Housemartins - Caravan of love
Warren Zevon - Werewolves of London
HEY YOOOOOU GUYS!!!! Get off the dance floor and belly up to the bar... Bartender! BEER for all the guys.... and close the bar to the women for a little bit. OK then serve the women at the table. PK can shuttle their drinks... lol
OK guys.... I don´t know if you get these commercials across the big pond, but here in the USA we have two of them that kind of take me by surprise... (They MUST be written by women)... :) <BR> <BR>The first one is advertising asprin of some sort.... you just pop one in your mouth and you don´t have to drink water to get it down... it melts instantly and this commercial says you can SAVE your glass of water for OTHER purposes.... :) <BR> <BR>Now this commercial starts with a good looking couple sitting in a booth at a resturant and she pops a pill into her mouth and just looks at the full glass of water on the table. He says, "I didn´t know she was your sister".... listening to that remark She abruptly stands up... grabs the glass of water and throws the water in his face and proceeds to walk out... He in turn JUST sits there with water dripping off his face and looking like the dismal ass he is for even admitting to such a stupid remark... <BR> <BR>Now, guys, do you agree that this commercial was written by a woman???? I am sure that it was....... :)
If it was a stupid remark...... sure shit- in it was a guy that wrote the commercial LOL
They say, if it does not hold up, does not look good, wears like shit, and uncomfortable, surely it was a man that made it he he he LOL LOL
Never mind the water... he would have received the glass as well! ;)
Fifteen Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/significant other is taking his/her sweet time: <BR> <BR>1. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people´s carts when they aren´t looking. <BR> <BR>2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. <BR> <BR>3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms. <BR> <BR>4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,´Code 3 in housewares,´...and see what happens. <BR> <BR>5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M´s on layaway. <BR> <BR>6. Move a ´CAUTION - WET FLOOR´ sign to a carpeted area. <BR> <BR>7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you´ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. <BR> <BR>8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask ´Why can´t you people just leave me alone? <BR> <BR>9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. <BR> <BR>10. While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. <BR> <BR>11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ´Mission Impossible´. <BR> <BR>12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels. <BR> <BR>13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say ´PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!! <BR> <BR>14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream ´NO! NO! It´s those voices again´. <BR> <BR>And last but not least, <BR> <BR>15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly ...´Hey! We´re out of toilet paper in here !!! <BR> <BR>
Those are funny LOL LOL LOL LOL
I still like the old one, when sitting in a public bathroom and someone is in the next stall, smear a candy bar on your hand and reach under and ask "Hey buddy, got some toilet paper I can use?" :)
roflmao Those are good!! LOL
I did 1, 6 and 8 and it´s the truth!
Eagles - Life in the Fast Lane <BR> <BR>
I think they ran out of bear. So everyone left :)
It does seem a bit dead in here. Anyone home?!?
H e l l o o o o hello hello hello... There seems to be an echo in here... That stands to reason, all the skinners are doing their thing.. skinning all the apps in the contest.. Well I can´t blame them.. if I knew how to skin I would be doing the same thing... Oh well, here I am talking to myself, even chichi won´t talk to me.. too busy... <BR> <BR>Well, least I can do is dust the dance floor and wash the glasses... heh heh heh.. I´ll change all the records in the jukebox to the tunes of the 50´s maybe just a few polkas too... I’ll teach Peanut, PearlDrop and Doreen to polka.. he he he Second thought Doreen will want to polka on the keyboard.. ok ok ok This is how you do it.. The guy ( /me ) gets these keys Ctrl, Shift, Tab and arrows.. the gal ( /Doreen: ) gets the Alt, Shift, Tab and arrow keys. That makes sense doesn’t it? Yeah... ok Dor here we go /me Ctrl Tab Tab... /Doreen: Alt Shift Shift... Lets try it... DJ a polka if you will.... Ctrl Tab Tab.... Alt Shit Shit.... No No No /Doreen: ShiFt ShiFt put a "F" in it.... lol lol This is gonna take some time... after all did anybody ever see a locomotive dance with a coffee cup? lol lol <BR> <BR>I think I’m going crazy... I would swear I was doing the polka with doreen.... I better learn to skin something and get my sanity back... <BR> <BR>Man.... it´s lonely in here..... and I´m afraid of the dark.. I better not say that too loud.. Brub may start rattling his bones and Scarebear may come in riding his Harley... What was that!!!!! I hear bells.... I´mmmm out of here..... <BR>
Elwin! I want to go to wallmart with you!
I´ll have to remember that trick. It´d cost me 1 flower :D
chichi, that is class,I love it! Sure beats Lawrence Welk and his champagne merry makers...LOL :-) a one anna two anna.....(bubbles start floating) LOL :-) <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>Hob &chichi, you guys have a nice one,Ok :-)
ROTFLMAO Now that is really cooooool !!!! I wonder if it could be programmed for a Polka lol <BR> <BR>etype2 I sure hope so... cause if they don´t I´m in deeeep dodo... lol
Hey hob, your last post,do they know what your talkin about? lol :-)
Oh well.... it´s days like this that I need a warmer.... So much for the ole adage "It´s the thought that counts".. lol lol Never let it be said that I´m a quitter... Soooo tonight on "Sweetest Day" my love... We can start with...Days of Wine and Roses by Andy Williams... While I light the candles and fire up the weber.. Then its Chateaubriand, medium rare, with a baked potato buttered with sour cream and sprinkle of chives... herbed fresh green beans, and of course Sangria wine to warm your inner most feelings.... Of course, in the dim of light and sometime before the dessert of fresh baked peach cobbler and french vinilla ice cream the music will change to "Somewhere My Love" - Roger Williams.... lol <BR> <BR>Just think how much I will save on the electric bill. Heck just turning off the computers will save me a bundle...LOL LOL and Oh yeah, The Williams boys are from down the street...their brothers... I tried to get the Andrew Sisters from next door to play the violin music but they are busy playing for George and Gracie accross the street.. lol lol
hehe Hovbnobber is cheap :)
/Scarebear: don´t even try that, those thorns can hurt on their way-up LOL <BR> <BR>C H E A P .......? Two "single" pieces of Trinadad Fanny May candy, will not get you lucky :-) a bottle of Sangria could have gotten you somewhere :-) and a correction on the Three Roses for three decades, I believe that is three Roses for the last three years you forgot sweetest day...... :-( But even though your C H E A P, The Rose´s are pretty and I´m just happy that this year you remembered :-)
LOL @ Hob! <BR>Good luck... :devil
"one for each decade. (Its cheaper that way)" ROFL /hobnobber:
Did you know that tomorrow 10/19 is "Sweetest Day" at least here in the States. I bought /chichigirl46: 3 Roses... one for each decade. (Its cheaper that way) and here favorite candy, Fannie May Trinidads... Who knows I may get lucky lol lol <BR> <BR>/me runs to jukebox and plays... "I love you more and more everyday" by Al Martino
