that´s great! you made my day, chichi! i´ll try to dig up some funny stuff to post too...
LOL nikuki can you guess how many people screw up _my_ name? ;)
/nikuki: Didn´t get into Akron but once or twice.. Most of my time was in Cleveland (Euclid and Garfield Hgt) Youngstown Warren Findlay Middletown and Cincinnati. Close but no prise for that... Oh yeah, The corn should be Knee high by the 4th of July... lol
really? what parts?? i´m from the northeast (akron area)
How true, how true, nikuki, got it that time!!! :) I did a lot of traveling in Ohio and most of that makes a lot of sense to me!!!! lol lol Test /nikuki:
Anyways... here´s a little local humor. You´ll know exactly what´s going on if you live in Ohio. For you non-Ohioans and non-Americans, this will still give you a chuckle or two and just to let you know, they´re <B>all</B> true! <BR>Here´s a little insight into what it´s really like to live in Ohio: <BR> <BR><B>Jeff Foxworthy on Ohio<B> <BR> <BR>You may be from Ohio (pronounced o-HAI-oh) if: <BR> <BR>*You think all Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange <BR> <BR>*You know all the 4 seasons: almost Winter, Winter, still Winter and Construction. <BR> <BR>*You live less than 30 miles from some college or university. <BR> <BR>*You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones. <BR> <BR>*"Toward the lake" means "north" and "toward the river" means south." <BR> <BR>*You´ve heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot. <BR> <BR>*You know if other Ohioans are from southern or Northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths. <BR> <BR>*You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine, Tuscarawas, Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in Cincinnati. <BR> <BR>*"Vacation" means spending a day at Cedar Point. <BR> <BR>*You measure distance in minutes. <BR> <BR>*Your school classes were canceled because of cold. <BR> <BR>*Your school classes were canceled because of heat. <BR> <BR>*You´ve ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. <BR> <BR>*You know what should be knee-high by the Fourth of July. <BR> <BR>*You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where´s my coat at ?" <BR> <BR>*You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. <BR> <BR>*You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows. <BR> <BR>*You carry jumper cables in your car. <BR> <BR>*You know what ´pop´ is. <BR> <BR>*You design your kid´s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. <BR> <BR>*Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. <BR> <BR>*You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightgown. <BR> <BR>*The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports. <BR> <BR>*You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
why can´t anyone get my name right?? grr.. <BR>just from this post:: <BR> hobnobber: "LMAO <B>nakuni</B> that is really a good one" <BR> chichigirl46: "That´s funny <B>nakuki</B>," --but she did get it right the first time... <BR> <BR>it´s not just people here, i´ve been called nikuk, nikukiuki, nikiki.... <BR>the world must be against me! <BR>or maybe it´s just trying tot tell me to get a new nick. hmm... nakuni itsn´t too bad... <BR>
And I thought I had bad luck!
This is a TRUE story: <BR> <BR>At the 1994 annual awards dinner given for Forensic Science, AAFS President Dr. Don Harper Mills astounded his audience with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story. <BR> <BR>On March 23, 1994 the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. <BR> <BR>Mr. Opus had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide. He left a note to the effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the deceased was aware that a safety net had been installed just below the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned. <BR> <BR>Ordinarily," Dr. Mills continued, "A person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended, is still defined as committing suicide. That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death, but probably would not have been successful because of the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands." <BR> <BR>In the room on the ninth floor, where the shotgun blast emanated, was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject "A" but kills subject "B" in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject "B." When confronted with the murder charge the old man and his wife were both adamant and both said that they thought the shotgun was unloaded. The old man said it was a long-standing habit to threaten his wife with <BR>the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident; that is, if the gun had been accidentally loaded. <BR> <BR>The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple´s son loading the shotgun about six weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son´s financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother. Since the loader of the gun was aware of this, he was guilty of the murder even though he didn´t actually pull the trigger. <BR> <BR>The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. Now comes the exquisite twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was, in fact, Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother´s murder. <BR> <BR>This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window. The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide. <BR> <BR> A true story from Associated Press, Reported by Kurt Westervelt
LOL - reporting at its best
Two boys are playing football at this park in a small town in Texas when one <BR>of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, <BR>the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog´s collar, twists it, <BR>and breaks the dog´s neck, thus saving his friend. <BR> <BR>A local sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes <BR>over to interview the boy. He tells the boy he´s going to write the story <BR>and says, "I´ll title it ´Young Longhorn Fan Saves Friend From Vicious <BR>Animal.´" "But I´m not a Longhorn fan," the little hero replies. <BR> <BR>"Sorry, since we´re in Texas, I just assumed you were," says the reporter <BR>and he starts writing again. He asks "How does ´Aggie Fan Rescues Friend <BR>>From Horrific Attack´ sound?" "I´m not an Aggie fan either," the boy says. <BR> <BR>"Oh, I thought everyone in Texas was either for the Aggies or the <BR>Longhorns. What team do you root for?", the reporter asks. <BR> <BR>"I´m just visiting my cousin, I´m an Oklahoma Sooner fan," said the boy. <BR> <BR>The reporter smiles, starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: <BR>"Little Redneck Bastard From Oklahoma Kills Beloved Family Pet."
lol Very funny everyone. Now I can go to bed with a smile. :)
That´s funny nakuki, I´ll bet that person is a fun character :-) <BR> <BR> <BR>Here´s one for ya................. <BR>What did one lesbian say to the other lesbian?............ <BR> <BR>"you da mannnnnnnn " LOL
LMAO nakuni that is really a good one...... Just love it!!! lol lol
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. <BR> <BR>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? <BR> <BR>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle´s Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: <BR> <BR>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. <BR> <BR>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle´s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: <BR> <BR>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. <BR> <BR>2.If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. <BR> <BR>So which is it? <BR> <BR>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Baston during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze. <BR> <BR>The student received the only "A" given. <BR> <BR>
The Italian joke is 40 years old, You see how dirty our parents were back then. <BR> <BR>Looking forward to nikuki jokes :-)
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. <BR>She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." <BR> <BR> <BR>The woman freed the frog. The frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes -- that whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times more or better!" <BR> <BR> <BR>The woman said, "That would be okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to. <BR> <BR> <BR>The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM she´s the most beautiful woman in the world. <BR> <BR> <BR>For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. <BR>The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." <BR> <BR> <BR>The woman said, "That will be okay because what´s mine is his and what´s his is mine." So, KAZAM -- she´s the richest woman in the world! <BR> <BR> <BR>The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, <BR> <BR>"I´d like a mild heart attack." <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR>Moral of the story: Women are clever bitches. Don´t mess with them. <BR>
A motorist was going the wrong way on a one way street, and a cop stopped him and said, look buster.... where do you think your going? And the motorist looked up and said, Oh, well it´s okay officer, I guess I´m too late anyway, I see everybody´s coming back........ LOL
Q: how do you stop a clown from laughing? <BR> <BR>A: Smack him in the head with an axe. <BR> <BR><b>That´s</b> a funny joke :D
I told ya /BruB: leave it to a man LOL <BR> <BR>/Scarebear: your brutal LOL <BR> <BR>An older man was telling his friends that he is getting married, they asked...... Can she cook? NO....... <BR>Is she pretty? NO..... <BR>Is she wealthy? NO...... <BR>Why are you marring her? <BR>She can drive at night......... <BR> <BR>What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws????? <BR>Outlaws are wanted (o)
<BR> <BR>The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats. It worked. The front of the church fills first." <BR> <BR>The young priest nodded and the old one continued, "And you told me a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock ´n roll gospel choir. We are packed to the balcony." <BR> <BR>"Thank you, Father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased you are open to the new ideas of youth." "Well", said the elderly priest, "I´m afraid you´ve gone too far with the drive-thru Confessional. <BR> <BR>"But Father," protested the young priest. "My confessions have nearly doubled since I began that! <BR> <BR>I know, my son," replied the old man. "But that flashing neon sign, "Toot ´n Tell or Go to Hell", can´t stay on the church roof!
