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By chichigirl46
1,018 views 12 replies
snowman avatar
snowman
Member
OP
wow... thats a tough one chichi! <br />Very often when one part of an &quot;old&quot; couple passes away, you see the other part &quot;fade away&quot;. No wonder, since they most likely have spent most of their lives together. <br />What can one do to &quot;shine&quot; things up again?! <br />There&acute;s not straight answer to that, but I guess all you *can* do is show him that no matter what happens, you still support and love him. <br /> <br />But if you say that his attitude towards you have changed, why not &quot;take advantage&quot; of that and try lureing him outside - some fresh air might do him wonders, take him for a drive, a walk in the park - just spent alot of time with him. :)
grimspoon avatar
grimspoon
Member
Hmm.. there are lot of people out there doing the same lifestyle, including me, I mean... whats wrong with that?!? {:p <br /> <br />Ehe... maybe you should just join in and have a few Sangrias together with him Chichi, remember... loughter is the best medicine for heartache!
chickie avatar
chickie
Member
Chichi, your dad misses his wife. :( It&acute;s sad to see him go through pain & heartache. He wants to be with your mama in heaven. Does he have lady friends? Maybe, the ladies can lift his dark mood? Close friends? Friends are like families. :, Maybe there&acute;s lady widowers out there for him. It wouldn&acute;t hurt to try.
peanut779 avatar
peanut779
Member
Chichi...I&acute;ve sent you an email. ;)
doreen avatar
doreen
Member
Sorry to hear this chichi, but atleast something good is coming out of it which is you&acute;re finally getting close w/ your dad? and he is finally getting to know his daughter... <br />I doubt there is much you can do but enjoy the time you have left w/ him, ppl let their own will go when they are ready and you can&acute;t stop them either but you can try to change his mind and tell him you&acute;d like to have him around alittle longer so &quot;you&quot; can enjoy some time w/ him now... =) <br />maybe he will take better care of himself to try to stick around for you if not for himself? <br /> <br />at any rate enjoy the days you have w/ him now and try to make the most of them (that&acute;s all anyone really has cuz age has no bearing on that part sometimes)
craeonics avatar
craeonics
Member
Usually, all old people have left are themselves and their grand children. So either he has to find someone to brighten up his heart again or perhaps there are some grand children around? <br /> <br />Alternatively, he might want to end things and thinks he has seen it all and lived too long. Perhaps he thinks his time has come. Dilemma: should you respect his wish and enjoy the time you have left with him, or try to pull him out of it?
chichigirl46 avatar
chichigirl46
Member
I certainly appreciate every one&acute;s thoughts here, it sure is hard for me to just let go.... Some times I think being blessed with a caring nature is not so blessed at all..... But I have read all of your thoughts here over and over and now copy/paste to read again when I&acute;m feeling low.... There are some very comforting words here by all of you, and they all will be foremost in my mind, but I must say to snowman, yes they have been married for 62 years, and your words &quot; Fade Away&quot; touched me deeply, what a beautiful way to have one think and feel :-) Thank you guys and ladies :-)
snowman avatar
snowman
Member
&quot;married for 62 years&quot; - pardon my French but holy shit! <br />I hope me and the misses stick together for that long. <br /> <br />The &quot;fade away&quot; effect I have sadly seen one time too often! <br />I have known alot of elderly couples, who have been living happily together for most of their lives. But one of them gives up the spirit, many time the other part (as I said) have faded away and very sadly died shortly after. :( <br /> <br /><b>BUT</b>.... there&acute;s always &quot;exceptions to the rule&quot; if you catch my drift. <br />My wifes grandmom died three years ago, leaving behind 5 &quot;kids&quot; and a husband... and though I mentioned earlier that the other part might fade away after such an event, her grand-dad, who is a very tough guy (and have my deepest respect) have pulled himself together and managed to keep it going as if &quot;nothing have happend&quot;. <br />Dont get me wrong here now, I loved &quot;granny&quot; from the bottom of my heart (if not deeper) but her passing away seems to have been a &quot;good thing&quot; for my wifes grand-dad. Now he&acute;s making his own food, cleaning his own clothes/house, tending the garden - all by him self, <i>and he loves it</i>. Before it was his wife that took care of all that!
chickie avatar
chickie
Member
Why does this remind me of Grumpier Old Men or Golden Girls?! :,
hobnobber avatar
hobnobber
Member
Because your so Young and beautiful, but have yet to experience the finer side of life... lol lol
cuttheredwire avatar
cuttheredwire
Member
It&acute;s sad to say, but this is kinda how it works. Men are usually the loners. Women usually form the social/family connctions. When a woman dies, the husband usually dies soon after. If a man dies first, the wife has a core group she is still a part of. In fact, once that group is gone, that&acute;s often when she passes-on too. We&acute;re social creatures. <br /> <br />I do have an idea though, but I don&acute;t think it will work. He needs some kind of social ties. Maybe a drinking budy. Maybe someone to argue with. He makes this hard because of how he treats ppl. <br /> <br />Sadly this seems a part of nature too. There is theory that we welcome death and prepair to die in old age. Older ppl often eat less, and have other (often subconcious) detrimental behaviors. Organs begin to just seem to shutdown too. I wish I could describe it better. I&acute;m not in 100% agreement, but having lot my grandma and great uncle slip away while living with us showed me more than I&acute;d have liked to of seen. <br /> <br />As for knowing if you should or should not try to change him, I have this to offer as advice: <br /><i>God, grant me the strength to change what I can, <br />the serenity to accept the things I can&acute;t, <br />and the wisdom to know the difference between the two.</i> <br /> <br />Just a prayer, but it&acute;s worth a shot. You&acute;ll be in mine. ^.~
aiglestates avatar
aiglestates
Member
❤️ give im the betters you ave
codo505 avatar
codo505
Member
How do you see the skins and download them????? any one who knows plz email me at jcoder@mail.com thnk you
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